


unclose me

by summerofspock



Series: why must itself up every of a park (the ee cummings cycle) [9]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, M/M, Misunderstandings, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Schmoop, Vulcan Kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 08:35:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10590330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerofspock/pseuds/summerofspock
Summary: Spock forgives the Captain his mistakes. He always has and he always will. It might be a weakness but it's worth it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> a long road finally leads to happiness. thanks for sticking with me through the years. it's been a wild ride!
> 
> title from 'somewhere i have never travelled' by ee cummings (poem from the last chapter)

Spock is weak. Spock has always been weak. He was weak in his youth when he continued to lose his temper at school. He was weak from the first moment Jim’s lips touched his. 

Lying in bed with Jim tucked into his side, the press of the human’s cool hands against his ribs, where his heart rests, Spock is acutely aware of his weakness. He lets his gaze roam over the captain. The golden hair, the expanse of toned, tan skin. He is beautiful. Spock’s bondmate is beautiful.

Spock cuts off the thought. Bondmate. The captain made it perfectly clear that he was uninterested in Spock. This new sudden interest, must be the work of the bond and the captain’s high sense of self preservation. Even Spock wasn’t immune to the discomfort when the captain left the bridge at the end of alpha shift. Spock had felt the painful tingling in the base of his skull and the nausea that crept through his stomach. It is fortuitous that the captain is open minded to spending time with Spock, even with Vulcan control, discomfort is discomfort.

Jim snuffles in his sleep and Spock feels a surge of arousal through the bond. It is not difficult to ascertain the tone of the captains dreams. Jim rolls onto his stomach and out of Spock’s grip, his hips press into the mattress, and the sense of arousal is joined by a spike of dull pleasure. 

Spock closes his eyes.

Jim moans as he shifts against the mattress. Spock tries and fails not to feel resentment towards the captain. The bond is settling. Increased arousal is expected at this time but Spock still sometimes feels like Jim has set out to ruin him. To incite him. Like with the little show Jim put on before their nap, Spock had to restrain himself from pinning the captain to the bed, from showing him how good bonded pleasure could be... He can feel his cock stir in his pants.

Shifting again, Jim rolls back against him and seems to find the friction of Spock’s hip more satisfying than that of the matress. Not able to stand it any more, Spock places a hand on Jim’s shoulder and pushes him away, “Captain, please desist.”

Jim’s eyes flutter open and for a moment Spock shares in his confusion. “Spock?”

“Yes. You are in my quarters.”

Jim rubs his eyes. “Right. Damn. I was having a good dream, if you know what I mean.”

Even in the tenseness, Jim’s flirtation cannot be stymied. “Yes. I was able to discern that,” Spock said raising a brow and glancing at Jim’s crotch. 

Jim looks down and barks out a laugh. “Well gee. I think somebody likes you.”

“It is the bond and of no consequence. The settling forces increased arousal in the presence of one’s bonded partner. Physical intimacy can heighten the psychic tethers between partners and is encouraged on Vulcan.”

“Remind me why we aren’t engaging in ‘physical intimacy?’”

“Because you do not wish to,” Spock replies primly.

“Now who said that?” Jim says, placing a hand on Spock’s stomach and slowly untucking his undershirt.

Spock lays his hand over Kirk’s and says, “Captain, I must ask you to think about your actions. This is only the bond. The desire for intimacy you feel is manufactured. Outside of this scenario, you would not wish to have such contact with me.”

Kirk emits a painful groan and pulls his hand back to throw his arm over his face. “Jesus, Spock. How much more can I spell it out for you? I want you. Damned bonds or no, you’re it for me. Everything I want. Beautiful. Smart. Not half as a literal as you act around us humans and the more hilarious for it. You make me feel wanted and god, I want you. Why can’t you believe me?”

Spock sits up abruptly and moves to the edge of the bed, swinging his legs over. What the Captain says goes directly against his rejection on the bridge and yet... the warming in Spock’s chest feels akin to hope. “What about what you said?” Spock grits out between the slurry of words on the tip of his tongue.

“You’re going to have to help me out here Spock. Which time?”

“On the bridge. When I kissed you and you...acted disgusted.” 

Spock can feel Kirk shift behind him as he moves on the bed. Suddenly, a warm expanse is pressed against his back. Spock looks at his hands where they lay tangled in his lap. 

“Do you know what it’s like to be afraid?” Jim asks as he drops his chin against Spock’s left shoulder and grips his arms. He drops a swift kiss to the spot and chuckles. “Who am I kidding? Of course you do. You’ve been afraid of your feelngs your whole life.”

Spock stiffens and Jim kisses his neck. “Don’t deny it,” he continues. “You may think you’ve got the whole world fooled. The perfect vulcan. But we all know you’re half human. It’s what makes you imperfectly you. Imperfectly beautiful. Imperfectly amazing.”

Jim kisses the corner of his jaw. “You kissed me on the bridge and suddenly everything was real. All the times I’d fucked--or been fucked--for the greater good, when I didn’t want to, when all it did was get me somewhere, suddenly all that sex felt meaningless in comparison to what you were suddenly offering. I knew I wanted you since I first saw you, but the difference between wanting and having can sometimes be so vast. Something insurmountable. And suddenly, I had you. And it didn’t seem like you were leaving and the most teriffying part was that I still wanted you. All those times on the bridge, after missions, hadn’t even put a dent in how much I wanted you and you kissed me and I wanted you and I knew just how in love with you I was falling and I was terrified.”

Jim presses another kiss to his ear that sends pleasure down Spock’s spine. Twisting out of Jim’s grip, Spock turns to look his Captain in the eye. “Was that a very effusive way of saying you made a mistake?”

Jim face breaks into a grin and seems to hold back a laugh. “Why yes commander. That is exactly what I was trying to say.”

For a moment Spock feels as he did on the bridge when the captain left, something like the outcry of the bond, a heat in his belly that skirts the edge of nausea but instead of curdling on his tongue, it turns into something like relief as the worry and rejection Spock had been carrying for months finally dissolves.

“Mr. Spock. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were smiling,” Jim says, leaning his cheek into Spock’s.

“I’m doing no such thing captain.”

“Sure you aren’t.”

Spock can tell Jim is laughing at him but for the moment, he doesn’t mind at all. Spock turns his head slightly and captures Jim’s lips with his. The bond sings through his body at the intimate contact and Jim pulls away. “Jesus that feels good. I think I dig this bond thing.”

Spock smirks against Jim’s lips as he pushes him onto his back on the bed. He trails his lips from Jim’s mouth to his jaw to his neck to his collarbone which is exposed above the neckline of his undershirt. He tugs the black garment up and over Jim’s head.

“Right down to business are we Mr.Spock?” Jim says, clearly still filled with mirth.

“I have withheld myself for long enough, captain.”

“I like it when you call me Captain in bed,” Jim says offhandedly as he threads his fingers through Spock’s hair and Spock kisses his way down Jim’s chest.

Spock hums as he swirls his tongue around one pink nipple, already alert at the exposure to the open air. Jim huffs out a breath of pleasure and Spock grips his hip.   
“Maybe you should be wearing less clothes too.” Jim says, grasping at Spock’s undershirt from his shoulders. It’s a splendidly inefficient way to remove an article of clothing so Spock rises up on his knees and peels the shirt over his head. 

“Fantastic,” Jim breathes, spreading his hands over Spock’s now exposed skin. Spock fall back on his hands, trapping Jim between them and kissing him once more. Jim reaches between them and undoes Spock’s belt buckle. The metal slaps against his skin but Spock does not break the kiss as Jim seems to have the situation handled.

Jim undoes his pants with a soft snick and pushes them down as far as he can without pulling his mouth away from the kiss. Spock runs his tongue against Jim’s lower lip. The captain groans and his mouth falls open. The slide of their tongues feels like coming home. 

Jim runs his hands up Spock’s back, the cool slide of his fingers sends pleasant shivers through Spock’s body and heat pools low in his belly. He can feel himself grow hard in his briefs. Jim can feel it too, if the appreciative way he grinds their hips together is any indication. 

Pulling back from the kiss, Spock removes his trousers the rest of the way and slides his fingers under the captain’s waistband, obligingly the captain lifts his hips and Spock divests him of his final garment.

Once free, his cock falls against his stomach, red and blushing, the tip a slightly darker shade of red. Spock wastes no time moving down the bed and licking a wet stripe from his balls to his slit, swirling his tongue around the head. Jim sudden gasp makes Spock flush with pride. Jim’s hands thread through Spock’s hair as Spock guides Jim fully into his mouth. 

“God, Spock, that’s amazing.”

The pleasure Spock is building reverberates in the bond, a dull throb that Spock feels all the way to his toes. He takes Jim’s length into his mouth, relaxing his throat so he doesn’t gag. He has missed this feeling. The harmless, earth shattering intimacy. 

Jim groans again and gives his hair a gentle tug. Spock hollows his cheeks and let’s Jim fall from with his mouth, fluttering his tongue against the head before it slips out.

“Kiss me again. Please,” Jim says and Spock looks up to meet his eyes. His face is pink, the color high on his cheeks, his eyes slightly glassy but the smile gracing his mouth is just for Spock.

Without further urging, Spock leans up Jim’s body and brings their mouths together. A heated moment passes before Jim pulls away, “Not that I’m complaining but I meant for you to kiss me with your hands.”

Wordlessly, Spock reaches for Jim’s wrist where it rests around his neck. He pulls Jim’s hand between them and Jim extends his first two fingers, Spock mimics the gesture and brings them together. The pleasure is instantaneous, the bond sings with it. Jim’s mouth falls open. “Holy shit,” he breathes. 

Spock finds he agrees with the sentiment. He runs the pads of his fingers down Jim’s open palm, caresses the top of his wrist and urges his folded fingers to uncurl. Lacing their hands together, he presses his palm against Jim’s and the pressure feels better than any human kiss. 

Keeping their fingers tangled, Jim guides their hands between them to their matching erections. “I think I have a fantastic idea,” Jim pants as he grinds up against Spock’s pelvis. Spock let’s out a surprised huff of pleasure when Jim rubs their hands against their straining cocks. 

Jim hums happily. “I think we can improve this,” he announces before flipping them over deftly with one hand on Spock’s hip the other glued to his hand.

“Shit I always forget how heavy you are,” Jim says with a smile like Spock’s weight is the best thing about him. Jim must notice the way Spock’s eyebrows furrow in confusion because he just laughs and kisses his mouth briefly. “Don’t worry about it, Spock. I just really fucking love you.”

“And I, you.” Spock replies before he’s rendered momentarily speechless by the movement of Jim’s hips against his. The slick drag of precome forces the pleasure to new heights and Spock finds himself gripping Jim’s ass helplessly. 

Jim starts to mutter incoherently, all the while keeping up the friction between their bodies and their hands., “God baby, you’re so beautiful like this. Think you can come from just this? I can. God I’m so close. Look at you. Beautiful. Fuck.”

Jim suddenly spills between them, the slick of his orgasm allowing Spock to follow a few moments later. 

For a moment, Jim holds himself above Spock with his free hand tangled in the sheets and Spock is struck by how much he feels for his friend, his captain, his bondmate before Jim clambers from the bed and wets a cloth in the bathroom. 

Once back in the bed, Jim cleans Spock up, his soft cock twitches at the attention and Jim presses a kiss against the tip once it’s clean. 

Spock finds his hand in Jim’s hair, his finger caressing the cant of his cheekbone. “I am glad you are my bondmate.”

Jim’s face falls and he pulls away. Spock’s heart clenches in his chest. Was that the wrong thing to say?  
“Spock, I’m sorry I forced you into this. I know we care about each other but I shouldn’t have...I just...I had to save your life. I understand if you still want to get the bond dissolved. You didn’t ask for it.”

With sudden clarity, Spock grabs Jim’s hand and pulls him back into the bed and against his chest. “Jim, I may not have asked for it, but it was what I wished for. I want no one but you and I want this bond, accidental or no.”

“So we don’t need to go to New Vulcan?” Jim asks, sitting up an elbow to look Spock in the eye.

“Perhaps not. Though we are already on the way and I would like to introduce with my father to meet someone very special to me.”

Jim presses Spock’s knuckles against his mouth and grins.

**Author's Note:**

> somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond  
> any experience,your eyes have their silence:  
> in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,  
> or which i cannot touch because they are too near
> 
> your slightest look easily will unclose me  
> though i have closed myself as fingers,  
> you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens  
> (touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose
> 
> or if your wish be to close me,i and  
> my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,  
> as when the heart of this flower imagines  
> the snow carefully everywhere descending;
> 
> nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals  
> the power of your intense fragility:whose texture  
> compels me with the colour of its countries,  
> rendering death and forever with each breathing


End file.
